Meaning of Courage
by mandaree1
Summary: Amethyst hates how scared she was during the battle. Bismuth understands.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!**

 **Title: Meaning of Courage**

 **Summary: Amethyst hates how scared she was during the battle. Bismuth understands.**

 **...**

Amethyst hardly remembers what all they say to the Diamonds before going into the destroyed house, exhausted beyond belief. The thought of the two ginormous Gems sitting out on the beach, waiting, was somehow more terrifying than being out there, but Steven and Connie both needed to rest up for this. It was with a great reluctance that they all started shucking off various wedding paraphernalia, revealing their typical light-based clothes underneath. Amethyst kept her white shirt and pants on, flinging her coat off in the distance. Her hair came down next, crinkled and stressed. They all jump at the thud that is Bismuth fumbling her armor, but they don't hold it against her. They're all pretty tired.

"Good work out there today, Gems," Garnet says in her typical _I'm too strong to be tired_ voice, which they're all well past pretending isn't see-through. "Let's regroup in a coupla hours."

"Shouldn't we set up a guard?" Pearl stressed, wringing her hands. Her blue eyes kept darting out to the two large figures on the beach. "It seems... _wrong_."

Garnet gestured to all of them, slouched and generally not up for guarding. "Not gonna happen."

That said, Garnet gently picked Steven and Connie up, cradling them in an arm each. Amethyst hadn't ever seen the kids so limp before. Steven in particular looked ready to hibernate for a few years, dried out from crying and denying and revealing. Something curdled in her stomach as the fusion walked them up the stairs, carefully placing them on the bed. She slid down beside them, tipping her head back, and either fell asleep or began to meditate. From this far away, it was hard to tell.

Wait, nope. That was a snore. She's asleep.

Amethyst curls up on the couch next to the window, dropping her head against the solid wood. She can see the edges of the night sky, but she'd had to shapeshift her neck if she wanted to stare at the Diamonds. She doesn't. She just... wants to be safe. The thought made her drape an arm across her eyes, groaning dramatically.

She really _is_ getting mature in her old age. That _sucks_.

The cushion next to her shifts dramatically as Bismuth settles in with a low groan, shaking out her shoulders. Her voice, deep and as beautiful as the rest of her, is just above a murmur. "Hey, Deep Cut. How's it hangin'?"

"Bold of you to assume I'm hanging at all," Amethyst grumbled, sinking into the fabric. "You?"

"Had quite a workout today," Bismuth responds mildly. "You look exhausted. Maybe you outta take a nap, huh?"

The Quartz cracked open an eye. "No, thanks."

"That's something you like to do, right?" She sounded bemused. "Why not?"

Amethyst shrugged, tight-lipped.

Bismuth snorted and gave her a gentle shove. "Come'on, none of that now. We're teammates."

"I promised myself I wouldn't burden people with my problems anymore," she said quietly, hating to admit it out loud. Steven was one thing. Steven got it. Bismuth? Bismuth seemed _way_ more put together than her, and stable in ways Amethyst doubted she'd ever be. She wore armor! To a wedding! It didn't get cooler than that!

Bismuth fell silent a moment. "Y'know your friends care aboutcha, right?" she asked finally. "We get it if you're not comfortable talking- especially to a newb in your life like me. But we also _care_ , and we want to know how you're feeling."

Amethyst made a garbled noise, sinking even lower. "How can you make _whining_ sound noble?"

"It ain't whining if I'm requestin' the info."

"See? You did it again!"

Bismuth laughed. She decided to copy the Quartz, slinking low in her seat, but due to her height she couldn't go very far without bending at an awkward angle. "This was your first big battle, huh?" she prompted.

"I've fought before."

"Yeah, but this was a _big deal_." Bismuth waves an arm above her head. "I mean, the _Diamonds_ are a coupla feet from the house. That's pretty crazy."

Amethyst shuddered.

"It's okay if that bothers you," she went on, catching the displeased scowl on her face. "Today was scary."

"You didn't look very scared," she mumbled.

"Are you kiddin'?" Bismuth scoffed, smiling. "I was terrified. But I've learned to work through it. We all have." She set a hand on Amethyst's arm, almost covering the entire appendage. "You're a lot newer'n us, though."

"That's no excuse!" Amethyst ripped it away. "I'm a Quartz! A soldier! It's my job to fight! I shouldn't be shaking in my boots like a baby!"

"Amethyst."

" _What_?"

"You really think you were the only one afraid?" Bismuth almost sounded amused. "You think that was a _war cry_ Peridot was screeching when I tossed her at Blue? Y'think Connie was _pumped_ to run solo at a Diamond? We were all scared. That doesn't make you any lesser of a Gem."

Amethyst spared her a hesitant glance. "You really think so?"

"Know so!" Bismuth nudged the Quartz over so she laid her head on the large Gem's lap. "Now, get some sleep. You're gonna need it."

 _But what about you?_ Amethyst wants to say, but Bismuth is warm, and she's sleepy, and she only recalled blinking once before she was out cold.

 **Author's Note: Poor Amethyst just wanted to survive, man. She sounded scared out of her wits.**

 **-Mandaree1**


End file.
